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For a VERY limited time one may purchase a lifetime^ NSA.org account for the bargain price of $99. This account includes email, shell, VPN and a personal URL of your choosing*. Upon purchase PAYPAL will begin an email conversation with my personal account. From that point we will commnicate in the method you deem secure enough for creation of your USERID and PASSWORD. Typically this can be handled over email; with an audio attachment of your password. However voice, irc and skype options are available.

FAQ:

"Who are you? Why should I give you money?"
cf21. Because you are AWESOME and/or vain. Or because you demand a more secure internet experience. To show I am legit: My Facebook My LinkedIN You may also find me on IRC as NSAorg (usually idle).

"Is this site more secure than other internet hosted sites?"
Are you daft?

"Any way to get a list of sites hosted or users?"
What.

NEFARIOUS SEARCH AGENCY:
"Provide a full list of all email logs and transactions...blahblahblah."
Right-O. Oh pants! We seem to have restored the wrong VPC and now everything is gone! Fortunately we have a backup! .... Oh. Probably should have tested that! So sorry, nothing to report! (SAD PANDA)

* YOURURLHERE.nsa.org for example will map to a directory of your choosing, however by default it points to www/. Some hostnames are reserved.
^This account comes with 2GB of storage.
^Accounts are selectively backed up daily to a different continent.
^The current name host for IRC and such is: SnowyInn.NSA.org. This may change.
^This is a notorious vanity domain and some downtime may occur because of DDoS attacks.
^SSH standard access.
^Shell programs can be run, low impact daemons allowed.
^IMAP OPTIONS: IMAP4rev1 LITERAL+ SASL-IR LOGIN-REFERRALS ID ENABLE IDLE STARTTLS
^Anyone who causes trouble for other users will be promptly rm -rf'ed. Don't be an idiot.
^Anyone who uses this host for mayhem on the internets will be promptly rm -rf'ed. SRSLY?
     
Referrals:
What do you GET?